if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
