i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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