You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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