Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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