Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
