Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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