Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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