youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
