Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
