Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize