And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
