What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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