it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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