just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Life is so much better after having sex.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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