Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
