I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
