so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
