My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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