How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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