my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
