I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize