I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
