I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
and she was petting her beer can
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
