You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
