I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
