I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Randomize
