every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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