Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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