i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize