So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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