we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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