The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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