Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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