what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
