well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
