she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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