pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize