I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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