Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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