grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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