you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
