My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
