Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
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