At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
