i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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