On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
