This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
