he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
