Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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