what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
