I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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