Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
