your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
