dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize