And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I think your dad took our porno
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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