My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
How does one acquire holy water?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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