The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
