Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
