Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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