You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
