I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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