you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
