You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
